As many of you know, the fundamental goal of meditation is to keep you focused on the present moment. This way you can be free from regret about the past or anxiety about the future, and you can just BE. Ideally, the people and noise and distractions around you slowly fade away so that you can maintain sole focus on your breath or mantra or whatever else you've decided to make your focal point for the exercise. Easy, right?
Over the last few years I've had wavering success with meditation. Sometimes I feel as focused as a mathematician on the verge of solving an equation worth a billion dollars. Other times I'm so distracted thinking about my grumbling stomach or the next fabulous festival costume I'm dying to buy that I forget why I even sat down in the first place.
You may be the same way.
Well, last year, a new friend came into my life. Her name is Kaylee. Soon after meeting it became obvious that the comfort, depth, and intensity of our love and care for one another could only be explained by us having lived many other lives together before this one. Turns out nine, to be exact, according to a medium we eventually had do a reading for us. I had been able to sense within the depth of my being that she was far from "new" in my life, and I was right.
Mateo Sol explains that your soul family are "members of the same 'Spirit Family' as you and they share an intensely strong bond with you that transcends time and space itself. Intuitively, most people tend to describe this connection as sharing the same 'frequency' or 'vibration' because of the deep harmony felt among such people. Such a deep and harmonious connection goes beyond sharing the same surface-based personality tastes, hobbies and opinions: it’s an intense magnetic and spiritual bond you will feel that is inexplicable to the mind. Therefore, your Soul Group is often described as being comprised of Souls that are cut from the same 'energetic cloth' as you. But this deep connection isn’t necessarily romantic."
This describes us to a tee.
Sol also writes, "You’re not afraid to make eye contact with members of your Soul Family and it doesn’t feel awkward. When you make eye contact, there is something familiar that you both share, something comforting, something ancient. It’s almost as though when you make eye contact you’re tapping into a deeper truth that you both silently understand and share."
This is us.
Almost from day one we found ourselves instinctively drawn to looking deep into each other's eyes, something that I usually find extremely awkward with others. But with her it's different. It's as though we are seeing beyond one another's human exteriors into the eternal souls we have known for millions of years. It's trippy. Locking eyes somehow makes us feel whole, as though we have been separated, searching, and are finally reunited. Souls at peace.
Although I have had many amazingly close friendships in my life, my connection with Kaylee is beyond what I thought could exist between friends. That's because we aren't just friends. We are soul sisters, without a doubt.
When we lock eyes something fascinating happens: the world appears to freeze.
The past doesn't exist. The future doesn't exist. There are no worries. There are no thoughts. Only feelings of the purest sort of joy and sweet contentment.
I am utterly and completely present.
We stand there in awe of the human ability to simultaneously feel such magnetism, bliss, completeness, and calm.
Our breathing instinctively syncs. In, out. Slowly, deeply. There is no need to rush. All sense of time is lost.
It's also intense, and feels almost out of our control.
We were initially a bit confused by this intensity. Others have also been confused, which is totally valid. Anything that is new or different can be interpreted as wrong or a threat, but we are committed to showing that that is far from what we are.
We are just here to express love.
Learning to manage the energy between us so that everyone else we care about doesn't feel left out or hurt is something we are deeply committed to, and have gotten much better at. At the same time, we've also accepted that others may never fully understand our relationship, and that is going to have to be OK.
So the other day it hit me: our eye gazing is meditation!
It grounds us completely in the present moment. We move beyond thought to just pure feeling. We breathe slowly and deeply. We are completely relaxed.
It's a "brain break," as we've come to affectionately call it.
All thoughts are instantly and miraculously blocked out. What a relief from the constant monkey mind we both typically experience.
But unlike meditation, which often feels like such a mental struggle, the brain break that Kaylee and I give each other is effortless. It requires no force. No special techniques are used in an attempt to help us hold our presence for just a few seconds longer. We seem to just magically and naturally energetically lock into each other and we're off. We could do it for hours.
It's bizarre. It's powerful. It's joy.
It's a gift.
You may have beaten yourself up in the past because you were unable to maintain the focus of monks in your attempt at meditation, and maybe you've abandoned the pursuit all together. Or maybe merely the thought of it was boring enough to keep you away forever.
Well, I'm going to be a rebel and propose something revolutionary here: give yourself permission to ditch the mantra, ditch the om soundtrack, and ditch the struggle! It doesn't matter if you're sitting on a yoga mat, out in nature with your camera, knitting, staring into the eyes of your beautiful baby or best friend, or dancing beneath the stars. Just find something that is so captivating that the world seems to melt away and you experience the same brain break intended through meditation.
Search for what keeps your thoughts at bay and gives you the chance to simply savour the feeling of being human in that beautiful body of yours. And then do more of it!
Stop being so hard on yourself. Have fun going in search of whatever will give you the greatest brain break.
Let me know what you discover!
PS. This is in no way intended to put down the more traditional styles of meditation that have been practiced for thousands of years around the world. I know there is definitely a time and place for that, especially when looking for direct guidance from, and communication with, Spirit. Many people have been successful in having very profound experiences by sitting on their mat, so to speak. I'm simply offering a solution to those who haven't had much luck with meditation so far, and hopefully encouraging them to get out there and explore other means to experiencing true presence and peace.